Chapter 4: Make or Break
Chapter 4
Track 4: Make or Break – Dan + Shay
I wanted to disappear into an oblivion. Every day since Monday felt as if the whole world was working against me. Friday could not have come sooner and here I was, wishing it were any day but today.
Monday began with a flat tire. Michelins were meant to last but too many trips down gravel roads did it in. My fault. I ran to school to make it in time for my English mid-term, arriving a soggy, wet mess in mud-stained white tear-away pants – fashion’s worst invention.
Tuesday was not great. I had not seen Andy since Saturday and I could not stop thinking about him. I fumbled through the morning, forgetting to hand in my biology assignment, too distracted by the whereabouts of my boyfriend. An automatic 10% off “late fee”.
Wednesday, Dad agreed to take in my tire to be fixed on Friday, which meant two more days of walking – high school’s definition of humiliation. I caught a glimpse of Andy as he passed me on my morning walk to school, heading in the direction of his little brother’s elementary school in his pick-up. I watched as Andy’s Tacoma breezed past without stopping for a lift or a wave. I was 15-minutes late for Spanish – I do not “do” late – and earned myself my first detention for whispering to Sam Ashbee who sat across from me, inquiring about what I had missed. A detention virgin, I was late for detention. I had no idea where I was supposed to go which, ironically enough, earned me one more day of detention. I was on a roll. I sat in an uncomfortable prehistoric wood desk at the back of the room, staring into my lap, reflecting on the last 48-hours of my deplorable teenage life.
Thursday’s detention was nothing like the ‘Breakfast Club’. Jason got caught passing me a note I refused to accept. There was no goddamn way I was sitting through another detention. Jason earned himself one more day in the “slammer”, so to speak, and mouthed curse words at me when Mr. Barclay wasn’t looking. Jason would resent me until graduation. The 60-minutes felt like a million as I worked through my stack of homework, missing my meeting with my editor, Ray, at the Register-Guard. Ray was going to give me a handful of new assignments to cover over the next few weeks and instead decided to offer them to someone else, citing me as an “unreliable teenager.” No one has ever called me that before. I was crushed. I would not tell mom and dad I had served two afternoons in a row, but the fish casserole mom served up one night after the next confirmed she knew the truth. I despised fish casserole almost as much as I loathed Stacey Carter.
Andy passed me in the hall on Friday. He looked worn but appeared to be charming everyone around him, something that came so natural to Andy. He was immersed in conversation with a group of grade-twelve boys in the hall between first and second period, and I refrained from interrupting. He looked up as I passed and nodded his head, hardly breaking eye contact with the others. The afternoon was a grind as I over-analyzed Andy’s neglect as a lack of interest in me. Was he embarrassed to introduce me to his friends? Were we still together? Had I said or done something wrong?
I arrived home at the end of the week with a heavy heart and a light backpack – thanks to back-to-back detention which allowed me to get ahead on my homework. Mom made my favorite spaghetti dish. I interpreted the carb-filled marinara as a peace offering, reaffirming her knowledge of my detentions and her way of apologizing for the fish casserole, times two. After dinner I sat anxiously waiting for our dial-up internet to connect so I could check my MSN messenger. After twenty minutes of excruciating high-pitched beeps and screeches, waiting for me was a one-line message from Andy:
Meet you at the runway at 8 pm. I could not wait to see him, melt into his arms, and forget about the week that had passed.
***
It was 10 pm and Andy was a no-show.
I ran through my playlist three times before driving home a teary-eyed, heartbroken, detention-serving, unreliable teenage mess.